Mr. fairman,

You remind me of me years ago. Cause it’s always about me. I grew up having to memorize idiot imbecile moron. Definitions on a linear i.q. scale. Kids weren’t supposed to use the word “stupid”. How’s that working for us? Guess we can’t read the metro section anymore. Robber passes hold up note written on his own deposit slip. Not stupid, not an idiot not retarded. How about [fill in the blank]. Ahh, filling in the blank, that’s the friction for in that sleep of passing away, what word will we dream. Of.

Disclaimer: I hate euphemisms primarily because they lead to syllable creep.

Observation: any word applied to a hated group becomes dirty, because hate is dirty. Oh, god, here comes an I’m so old rap. I’m so old I remember colored people. I actually knew some. But colored people became dirty and were displaced by negros. I tell you there were a lot of people who didn’t like that. They were even more pissed when negros became dirty and black folks came along. Black was beautiful. I could handle that; I was pretty liberal about it, but African-american. Christ, 7 syllables, as a lazy guy, I just didn’t want to talk about race anymore. But now we’re moving toward people of color. Hey, that sounds familiar. I’m cool with that. We’re all colored people now, even the president. I think it’s healthy. Times change, words change. Poor folks still do without. So it goes.

The point: finally. Yeah, I know it’s really fucking stupid, but arguing against the wind is categorically vexing. It puts one in the category with those who: won’t relinquish their rights to cassius clay or lew alcindor or nigger. As my grandmother, may she rest in a non-militarily active status, used to say, “what for you need the aggravation?” why not just teach children not to be mean?

Is there a nice word for mean?